How To Find a Surrogate

Finding the right surrogate is one of the most critical steps in the surrogacy journey. Whether you choose to work with a surrogacy agency or find a surrogate independently, it’s essential to understand the process, the legal and medical requirements, and how to ensure a successful match. This guide will walk you through the steps of finding a surrogate in the United States, from understanding the qualifications to making the final match.

Finding a Surrogate

There are two primary ways to find a surrogate: working with a surrogacy agency or searching independently. Each option has its pros and cons, and the best choice depends on your specific needs, preferences, and comfort level with the process.

Using a Surrogacy Agency

Working with a surrogacy agency is the most common and structured approach to finding a surrogate. Agencies handle the screening process, legal aspects, and medical coordination, making the process smoother for intended parents.

Benefits of Using an Agency

• Comprehensive screening: Agencies ensure that surrogates meet all medical, psychological, and legal criteria.
• Legal support: Agencies provide guidance on state surrogacy laws and contracts.
• Coordination of medical and financial processes: The agency oversees medical procedures and ensures proper financial arrangements.
• Emotional support: Intended parents and surrogates receive counseling throughout the process.
• Matching expertise: Agencies help pair intended parents with surrogates who share similar values and expectations.
• Medical coordination: The agency ensures the surrogate has access to the best fertility clinics and specialists for a safe and smooth pregnancy.

How to Choose the Right Surrogacy Agency

• The agency's experience and reputation.
• Client testimonials and reviews.
• Transparency in pricing and legal processes.
• Support services offered to both intended parents and surrogates.

Find a Surrogate on Your Own

Some intended parents choose to find a surrogate independently through online platforms, personal connections, or surrogacy matching websites. While this method can reduce agency fees, it requires careful planning and legal guidance.

Steps To Finding a Surrogate Independently

1. Advertise your search: Utilize surrogacy forums, social media, and personal networks.
2. Screen potential candidates: Conduct background checks and medical screenings.
3. Hire an attorney: Ensure legal compliance with surrogacy laws in your state.
4. Work with a fertility clinic: Confirm that your chosen surrogate meets medical requirements.
5. Establish clear communication: Ensure all expectations, legal concerns, and medical conditions are discussed upfront.

Your Surrogate Must Meet Certain Requirements

Surrogacy involves strict medical, psychological, and legal criteria. The American Society for Reproductive Medicine (ASRM) provides guidelines for surrogate eligibility, which typically include:

• Age between 21 and 40 years old.
• Previous successful pregnancy with no complications.
• Healthy BMI within recommended limits.
• No history of drug, alcohol, or tobacco use.
• Stable home environment and support system.
• No history of severe mental health conditions.
• Financial stability to avoid surrogacy as a sole source of income.

Who Makes a Great Surrogate?

A great surrogate is not only medically and legally qualified but also emotionally prepared for the journey. Ideal surrogates are responsible, committed, and motivated by a genuine desire to help intended parents. They should also have strong support systems and be comfortable maintaining open communication throughout the process.

Traits of a Successful Surrogate

• Emotional maturity and stability.
• Ability to follow medical protocols strictly.
• A strong support network, including family and friends.
• Open and honest communication skills.
• Flexibility in case of unexpected medical or legal situations.

What Are You Looking For in a Surrogate?

Before beginning your search, define the qualities that matter most to you. Consider factors such as:

• Location (proximity to your fertility clinic and home).
• Views on communication and relationship expectations.
• Personal values and lifestyle.
• Willingness to carry multiples or undergo specific medical procedures.
• Compatibility in terms of diet, health habits, and overall mindset.

Steps To Finding and Matching With a Surrogate

The matching process can take anywhere from a few months to over a year. The key steps include:

1. Initial screening: Reviewing potential surrogates’ medical and personal history.
2. Background checks: Conducting legal and psychological evaluations.
3. Initial meeting: Discussing expectations and compatibility.
4. Legal agreements: Finalizing contracts with the help of surrogacy attorneys.
5. Medical procedures: Beginning IVF and embryo transfer once the legal process is complete.
6. Ongoing relationship management: Keeping communication open throughout the pregnancy for a smooth journey.

Questions To Ask Your Surrogate

To ensure a successful partnership, ask your surrogate the following questions:

• Why do you want to be a surrogate?
• How do you feel about maintaining communication after birth?
• Are you comfortable with the medical procedures involved?
• What are your expectations regarding compensation and expenses?
• Do you have a strong support system at home?
• What is your perspective on carrying multiples?
• How do you handle medical decisions if unexpected complications arise?

What Should You Expect for Your First Meeting?

The first meeting between intended parents and a potential surrogate is crucial. This meeting allows both parties to discuss expectations, medical histories, and personal values. Be prepared to talk about:

• The level of communication and involvement desired.
• Views on selective reduction or termination in case of medical issues.
• Compensation and legal agreement preferences.
• Personal expectations regarding emotional support and interaction during pregnancy.

Officially Matching With Your Surrogate

Once you’ve found the right surrogate, the next step is to finalize the match through legal contracts. These agreements should cover:

• Surrogate compensation and reimbursement for medical expenses.
• Parental rights and responsibilities.
• Medical and legal requirements, including health insurance and potential complications.
• Guidelines for medical decisions in case of emergencies.
• Plans for the birth and post-birth arrangements.

For more information on surrogacy laws by state, visit Congress.gov and USCourts.gov.

Find the Surrogate Match That’s Right for You

Finding the right surrogate is a deeply personal decision that requires careful planning, patience, and legal guidance. Whether you choose to work with an agency or find a surrogate independently, ensure that your surrogate meets all medical, legal, and personal criteria. For official guidelines on assisted reproduction, visit CDC.gov.

Conclusion

Finding a surrogate is a life-changing journey that requires a thorough understanding of the process, legal requirements, and personal compatibility. By carefully evaluating your options and following the steps outlined in this guide, you can find a surrogate who aligns with your goals and values, ensuring a positive experience for both parties. The key is to take your time, do thorough research, and seek professional guidance to ensure a seamless and fulfilling surrogacy experience.