The Surrogacy Matching Process: How We Connect Surrogates and Intended Parents

Surrogacy is a deeply personal journey—both for the women who choose to become surrogates and for the intended parents who are longing to grow their families. At our agency, the surrogacy matching process is the heart of what we do. It’s not just about logistics—it’s about relationships, values, and shared expectations.

In this article, we’ll walk you through how we match surrogates with intended parents in the U.S. We’ll break down what each side is looking for, how we ensure compatibility, and how we help build the foundation for a trusting and respectful journey.

A Brief Overview of the Matching Process

Matching is where everything begins. It’s the first and most critical step in the surrogacy journey, and it sets the tone for the rest of the experience. Here's what typically happens:

• Surrogate screening – We evaluate each candidate through medical, psychological, and lifestyle assessments.
• Intended parent consultation – We get to know the intended parents and understand their hopes, needs, and concerns.
• Profile creation – Both surrogates and intended parents create profiles highlighting their backgrounds, motivations, preferences, and more.
• Match selection and review – We propose a match that we believe fits based on preferences, legal compatibility, and personal alignment.
• Introductory video call – Both parties meet virtually to see if there's a mutual connection.
• Agreement stage – If both parties are happy, they proceed to legal contracts and begin the medical process.

It sounds straightforward—and with our help, it is—but behind the scenes, there’s a lot of work to make sure it’s the right match.

Surrogate Matching Criteria Includes Her Preferences On:

Surrogates are not just medical participants—they are active decision-makers. Here’s what we ask each surrogate to consider when creating her matching profile:

• Family structure and lifestyle of the intended parents (single, heterosexual couple, LGBTQ+ family, etc.)
• Location of the intended parents (some surrogates prefer local, others are open to national)
• Frequency and type of communication during and after the pregnancy
• Number of embryos to transfer (some are open to twins, others are not)
• Willingness to terminate or reduce in certain medical cases
• Ethical or religious considerations

Intended Parent Matching Criteria Includes Their Preferences On:

Intended parents also have preferences and deal-breakers, which we fully respect. Here’s what they typically look at when considering a surrogate match:

• Surrogate’s previous pregnancy history (number of births, complications, etc.)
• Location and travel restrictions
• Health and lifestyle factors
• Views on selective reduction or termination
• Level of desired communication and involvement
• Shared cultural or religious background (if applicable)

We work closely with intended parents to ensure they’re not only comfortable with the surrogate, but excited about working with her.

How Surrogates Are Screened for Matching

We don’t skip steps. Screening is non-negotiable, and it ensures everyone’s safety, health, and emotional readiness. Here’s what we evaluate before a surrogate is eligible for matching:

Medical Screening

• Full review of past pregnancies and deliveries
• OB/GYN clearance
• Reproductive endocrinologist evaluation
• No history of major pregnancy complications

Psychological Evaluation

• Mental health assessment by a licensed therapist
• Emotional readiness for carrying a baby for another family
• Support system and stress management capacity

Lifestyle and Background

• Non-smoker, no substance abuse
• Stable financial and housing situation
• Clean criminal background
• U.S. citizenship or legal residency

We follow the guidelines outlined by the American Society for Reproductive Medicine (ASRM) and ensure our process meets legal and ethical standards.

Lining Up Intended Parents and Surrogates

This is the art and science of what we do. After screening, we begin identifying potential matches. Here’s how we approach it:

• Compatibility review – We assess values, expectations, legal fit (surrogacy laws vary by state), and medical history.
• Internal discussion – Our team weighs all variables and narrows down a shortlist.
• Proposal – We present the match to both parties for review.

If both the surrogate and intended parents express interest, we move to the next step: a virtual face-to-face meeting.

Here’s a helpful resource to check surrogacy legality and requirements by state: https://www.childwelfare.gov

Main Requirements for Matching Surrogates and Intended Parents

To be match-ready, both surrogates and intended parents must meet a clear set of criteria. Here’s what we require:

Surrogates Must:

• Be 21–42 years old
• Have given birth to at least one child of their own
• Have no major complications in past pregnancies
• Pass all physical and psychological screenings
• Live in a surrogacy-friendly state

Intended Parents Must:

• Pass a criminal background check
• Show financial readiness (verified through documentation)
• Complete a psychological consultation
• Agree to legal contract terms before embryo transfer

We also verify insurance, residency, and medical history, following recommended practices by the CDC and HHS: https://www.cdc.gov and https://www.hhs.gov

Surrogates and Intended Parents Meet on Video Call

This is where the human element kicks in. Once a potential match is identified, we schedule a private video call moderated by one of our team members. The call is a chance to talk openly about:

• Motivations and personal stories
• Boundaries and expectations
• Communication style
• Hopes for the relationship
• Anything either party is nervous or curious about

This step is crucial—it’s not just about “checking a box.” It’s about feeling that mutual yes. When both parties walk away from the call smiling, we know we’re on the right track.

From there, if both sides want to move forward, we begin legal coordination and medical prep for transfer.

Here’s a legal reference on family-building rights in the U.S.: https://www.acf.hhs.gov

Conclusion

Surrogacy is more than a process—it’s a partnership. At our agency, we believe that great matches create great journeys. Our mission is to make sure both surrogates and intended parents feel respected, heard, and genuinely connected before moving forward.

Matching is just the first step, but it’s the one that lays the foundation for everything else. And we take that responsibility seriously.

If you’re ready to start this life-changing experience, we’re ready to help you find your perfect match.