How a Surrogate Can Prepare for Contract Negotiations

Becoming a surrogate is one of the most life-changing and meaningful decisions a person can make. But while the emotional and physical aspects are often discussed, there’s another side that’s just as critical: the legal process. At the heart of this process is the carrier agreement, also known as the surrogacy contract. This legally binding document outlines the rights, responsibilities, expectations, and protections for everyone involved—especially the surrogate.

This article is a detailed, no-fluff guide to help potential surrogates in the U.S. understand what to expect during contract negotiations and how to prepare like a pro.

What is Included in a Surrogacy Contract/Carrier Agreement?

What is a Carrier Agreement?

A carrier agreement is the legal contract between the surrogate and the intended parents. It's written with the help of attorneys who specialize in reproductive law. This agreement ensures all parties are on the same page about expectations, medical decisions, compensation, responsibilities, and rights before, during, and after the pregnancy.

The Governing Surrogacy Law

Surrogacy laws vary from state to state. Some states like California have surrogacy-friendly legislation, while others impose strict limitations or don’t recognize the contracts at all. That’s why it’s crucial that both the surrogate and intended parents work with attorneys familiar with the laws in the surrogate’s home state. You can find state-by-state legal information through the U.S. Department of Health & Human Services: https://www.hhs.gov.

Number of Transfers

The agreement will state how many embryo transfers the surrogate is willing to attempt. Most contracts allow for up to three IVF transfers, but this can be negotiated. It’s essential to consider your own mental and physical boundaries here.

Pregnancy Risks

Pregnancy always carries risks, even for women who’ve had easy pregnancies before. The agreement outlines what happens in case of complications, hospitalization, or other health issues. It also addresses selective reduction and termination clauses—topics that must be discussed openly and clearly before signing anything.

Parents’ Rights

The intended parents’ rights to the baby will be legally protected in the contract. The agreement clarifies that the surrogate has no parental rights and that the intended parents assume full legal responsibility from the moment of birth—or in some states, even earlier.

Travel

Travel restrictions are often included in contracts, especially during the later stages of pregnancy. Surrogates may be prohibited from leaving the state after a certain point to avoid legal complications. For example, a surrogate living in a surrogacy-friendly state may not be allowed to travel to a state where surrogacy is restricted or illegal.

Following Physician’s Orders

Surrogates agree to follow all medical advice and attend required appointments. This includes everything from taking prescribed medications to avoiding activities or substances that may pose a risk to the pregnancy.

Compensation and Benefits

Compensation varies but is thoroughly outlined in the agreement. Most arrangements include:

1. A base fee (usually paid in installments)
2. Additional compensation for carrying multiples
3. Reimbursements for lost wages, maternity clothing, travel, childcare, etc.
4. Monthly allowances for incidentals
5. Life insurance and legal fees covered by the intended parents

The Internal Revenue Service (IRS) may consider some or all of this income taxable, depending on how it's structured. For updated guidance, surrogates can refer to the IRS website: https://www.irs.gov.

Health Insurance

The agreement will also specify who provides and pays for medical insurance. Sometimes a surrogate’s own insurance policy will cover pregnancy, but often a new, separate policy is purchased by the intended parents to avoid complications or denials. Medicaid cannot be used for compensated surrogacy arrangements in most states.
For up-to-date Medicaid policy and eligibility across states, check https://www.medicaid.gov.

How Can a Surrogate Prepare for Contract Negotiations?

Okay, so how do you walk into this process informed and empowered?

1. Hire your own attorney. This is non-negotiable. You need a lawyer who represents YOU—not the intended parents. This should be paid for by the intended parents and included in the agreement.
2. Know your deal-breakers. Think about your comfort level with termination, number of transfers, travel, and compensation. Write them down. Be honest with yourself.
3. Talk to other surrogates. Real experiences can help prepare you for what’s ahead. Online support groups and surrogacy agencies can connect you with past surrogates.
4. Get your medical records ready. You’ll likely need to share your OB/GYN history, past pregnancies, and any medications you’ve taken.
5. Understand your rights. The U.S. Department of Labor has resources related to pregnancy, employment protections, and medical leave: https://www.dol.gov.

Preparation equals power. Don’t rush this part.

What Will the Negotiation Process Be Like?

Surrogacy contract negotiations are typically handled through your attorney and the intended parents’ attorney. Here’s a quick breakdown of how it plays out:

1. Initial Draft – The intended parents’ lawyer writes the first version.
2. Review – Your lawyer reviews it with you, line by line.
3. Edits & Comments – You suggest changes or clarifications.
4. Negotiation – Lawyers go back and forth until everyone agrees.
5. Final Signing – Once both sides are happy, you sign the contract and can begin medical protocols.

This process usually takes 2–4 weeks, depending on how many edits are needed. It’s normal to go through multiple drafts. Don’t rush it—better to catch everything now than regret it later.

What If a Surrogate and Intended Parents Don’t Agree on Something?

Disagreements happen. Maybe the surrogate isn’t comfortable with selective reduction, or the intended parents want more control over travel decisions.

Here’s what to do:

1. Be honest and upfront. Say what you’re not okay with. You’re not being difficult—you’re setting boundaries.
2. Let the attorneys handle it. That’s what they’re there for. Try to avoid emotional arguments; keep it professional.
3. Walk away if needed. If the gap between you and the intended parents is too big, it’s okay to step back. Not every match is meant to be. Agencies usually have other families waiting.

It’s better to end negotiations early than to deal with conflict during a pregnancy.

Conclusion

Negotiating a surrogacy contract may not be the most glamorous part of the journey—but it’s absolutely essential. It protects your rights, your health, and your peace of mind. A well-written carrier agreement is the glue that holds the entire process together, keeping everyone aligned from the first transfer to delivery day.

Come prepared. Know your values. Ask questions. And don’t be afraid to speak up.

Surrogacy isn’t just a legal arrangement—it’s a life-changing partnership. Make sure it’s built on clear communication, mutual respect, and solid legal ground.