The Pros and Cons of Surrogacy For Intended Parents

Surrogacy in the United States has become an increasingly common path to parenthood for individuals and couples who are unable to conceive or carry a pregnancy. Whether due to medical reasons, infertility, or being part of a same-sex couple, intended parents are choosing surrogacy as a reliable and legal way to start or grow their families.

But like any major life decision, surrogacy comes with both benefits and drawbacks. This article lays out the pros and cons of surrogacy specifically for intended parents. If you’re considering this path, knowing the full picture—without sugarcoating—is essential.

What is Surrogacy?
Before diving into the pros and cons, let's clarify what surrogacy means in this context. In gestational surrogacy, the surrogate (or gestational carrier) has no genetic link to the baby. The embryo is created via IVF using the intended mother's egg or a donor egg, and the intended father's sperm or donor sperm.

This type of surrogacy is legal and regulated in many U.S. states, though laws vary significantly. It’s a complex journey that includes legal contracts, fertility treatments, and a deeply personal relationship between the surrogate and the intended parents.

The Pros of Surrogacy

1. A Path to Parenthood When Other Options Fail

For many intended parents, especially those who have struggled with infertility or faced multiple failed IVF attempts, surrogacy offers a real chance at having a biological child. Same-sex male couples and single men also rely on this process to become parents.

Surrogacy often succeeds where years of treatment have not. The success rates, especially when using donor eggs and experienced IVF clinics, are promising.

2. Biological Connection

Unlike adoption, gestational surrogacy allows at least one intended parent to have a genetic link to the child. For many, this is emotionally important and reinforces their sense of connection and family lineage.

3. Greater Control Over the Pregnancy

Intended parents are typically involved from the very beginning of the pregnancy. They work with the surrogate through regular check-ins, medical updates, and emotional support. While the surrogate carries the baby, the parents remain deeply connected to the process.

4. Legal Protections in the U.S.

The U.S. is one of the safest places to pursue surrogacy due to established legal frameworks (in certain states). Contracts clearly define the roles, rights, and responsibilities of all parties, protecting both the surrogate and the intended parents.

This clarity is essential and often hard to find in countries with vague or unstable surrogacy laws.

5. Access to Highly Regulated Healthcare

Surrogacy in the U.S. occurs within a medical system known for its rigorous standards. Pre-screening of surrogates, monitoring of pregnancy, and access to top-tier medical care are all part of the process.

The Cons of Surrogacy

6. High Cost

The biggest barrier for most intended parents is the price tag. Surrogacy in the U.S. can cost anywhere from $90,000 to $180,000 or more. This includes agency fees, legal costs, medical expenses, and compensation for the surrogate.

For many, this means taking out loans, refinancing homes, or delaying the process for years. Unlike adoption or IVF, there is limited financial aid or insurance coverage available.

7. Complex Legal Landscape

Surrogacy laws vary by state. Some states, like California, are surrogacy-friendly with clear laws and precedents. Others outright ban compensated surrogacy or leave it in a legal gray area.

Intended parents must navigate this patchwork with the help of a qualified attorney. A good starting point is reviewing general state law information at https://www.usa.gov.

8. Emotional and Psychological Stress

While surrogacy brings joy, it can also bring a rollercoaster of emotions. Trusting someone else to carry your child is a deeply vulnerable act. There may be complications, disagreements, or misunderstandings throughout the process.

Some intended parents struggle with feelings of guilt, especially if they’ve turned to surrogacy after failed attempts at carrying a pregnancy themselves.

9. Time-Consuming and Lengthy Process

From finding a surrogate to matching through an agency, finalizing legal contracts, completing IVF, and waiting through nine months of pregnancy—the process can take years. There are no guarantees, and delays are common.

The federal government's family and health resources provide general guidance at https://www.hhs.gov that can help intended parents understand the healthcare side of surrogacy in the broader U.S. context.

10. Ethical and Social Concerns

Some intended parents face criticism or judgment from others who view surrogacy as controversial. Questions about the surrogate’s autonomy, exploitation, or commodification of the process may come up—especially in certain social or cultural circles.

While surrogacy in the U.S. is highly regulated, these ethical debates are far from settled. Anyone considering this path should feel confident in their values and reasons.

You can also explore official family services resources at https://www.childwelfare.gov for more about rights and responsibilities involved in alternative paths to parenthood.

Final Thoughts

Surrogacy is not a shortcut or a guaranteed solution—it’s a deeply involved journey with emotional, legal, and financial dimensions. For many intended parents, it’s a path filled with hope, challenges, joy, and complexity. The rewards can be life-changing, but the risks are real.

If you're considering surrogacy, take the time to research thoroughly, speak with professionals, and understand both the pros and cons before moving forward. This isn’t just a medical or legal decision—it’s a life decision.

For more government-related family planning resources, you can start at https://www.cdc.gov.